“life will be better in spring”
DIVE BACK INTO THE WATERS
first we were strangers. then you weren't so unknown and weren't so strange, and we drifted towards friends. and keeping the friend title you graduated to become my girlfriend. soon after, and with increasingly accumulated titles, you became my lover. and it was months of bliss as all three titles merged into you. and you with me became some completely separate entity that moved as one force in the universe, rambunctiously causing heads to turn and eyes to roll but i was there and you were there and it was us. together.
then too quickly after you became my ex-lover. and my ex-girlfriend. and my ex-friend. and too quickly was i surrounded by exs, too many to count and too many for it to mark any spot. and too quickly you became the person i pushed into the past tense when talking about, though so much of you is still with me presently, surrounding me and texting me.
The truth is i’ve been waiting for her to say she needs me. i’ve been waiting for her to say she misses me. and i’ve been waiting for her to say she loves me. because there are too many newborn butterflies alight in my stomach to swallow such an opportunity with a passive no. so here i wait and here i teeter, on the brink of ex's, like they're bowling pins lined up ready to fall. and i'm hoping in one swift movement i can knock down every ex we were drowning in.